A Stupid Soccer Idea!

It seems to me that there might be a very unique way for a Soccer team to score goals and win games!

Since I was born with very little cushioning fat on the bottom of my heels, landing on the ground in the process of running has always been somewhat painful or it has required me to use an inefficient way of running, so I never played Soccer as a kid, and I avoided Track in School. So my personal knowledge of Soccer is somewhat limited.

But my understanding of the rules of Soccer include two which are very important. (1) No one except the Goalie is allowed to ever touch the Soccer ball with the hands; and (2) No one is allowed to ever tackle, or otherwise hit an opponent.

The head IS allowed to be in contact with the ball (for headers).

Given these two rules, I see an interesting opportunity which I do not believe any Soccer team has ever tried! Get a 'flat-headed kid' or one who is good at balancing things on his head.

At some point when our team has the ball, we go the wrong way on the Pitch to kick the ball to our own Goalie. The Goalie now picks up the ball and WAITS for at least five of his teammates to walk or run over to him. The Goalie PLACES the ball on the head of the flat-headed kid, who is now surrounded by four teammates, each a few feet away from him. Then those five players maintain that tight pattern and they WALK down the Pitch toward the other Goal!

As long as the flat-headed kid does not let the ball roll off his head, he should be able to do that walk. The presence of the four teammates are to keep any opponents from getting close and trying to kick the ball off his head (which WOULD be allowed).

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But since opponents cannot use their hands or arms to try to knock the ball off the flat-headed kid's head, it seems to me that he should be able to slowly and carefully WALK down the entire length of the Pitch! Should an opponent try to get too close to him, it would be necessary to hit or tackle one of the four Protectors, which should then be a Penalty! So even trying to knock one of the Protectors into the Flat-headed kid should result in a Penalty kick.

Once the Flat-headed kid gets to being near the opponent's Goal, he could flick the ball off to one of the four Protectors or equally, Header it to another teammate a few yards away, for a fairly simple and short kick for a Goal.

It IS true that some teammates probably need to be left behind a little, in case anything goes wrong, to try to defend from a horde of opponents going the other way! But some experience, both good and bad, might establish exactly what strategy might be most effective.

I admit that this idea would likely take much of the excitement out of watching a game of Soccer! To just watch a small group of players slowly walking down the length of the field, and if the other team also found value in this, then watching the other team walk the other way, and the word 'boring' might easily apply!

I am merely pointing out that the official Rules of Soccer seem to allow this idea to be tried!

This presentation was first placed on the Internet in October 2012.

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C Johnson, Theoretical Physicist, Physics Degree from Univ of Chicago